Lessons Learned from Dogs

Lessons from Dogs ❤️

1. Stop taking life so seriously... get out there!!! MOVE & play!!!!

2. Chill the fuck out & get still

Let’s dig in a bit more....

1. Move that body!!!

I highly doubt any of you who are watching this were born to live a life of a lazy couch bum or the life of a meditative monk. So get up... move that body. Shake things up... get out of your routine & find something new to do. Power walk, run, learn jiu jitsu or pole dancing, jump or dance around... whatever it is!!! Moving your body will help move your energy. And PLAY damnit!!! Why take life so seriously?!?!

2. Stop moving that body!!!

I also highly doubt many people are able to truly get sooooo still & silent. Even those who meditate for hours... most are so active in their mind or using some technique to try and still the mind. Can you drop everything - all techniques, all distractions, all thoughts and rest into the space... the silence... again & again & again in every single moment??? The mind won’t like it!!! You’ll finally have to face whatever was underneath & suppressed.

Maybe try out the one you are currently not doing! If you meditate a lot... get out and mooooove. If you’re the type that’s constantly busy... can you carve out time to get still?

Hina & I are here to support you! It can be scary to face what comes up when you get so still or when you start shaking things up:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/awakenfromthedarknight

You are so safe. You are so loved.

Let’s dooooo this... so we can play with such a lightheartedness like dogs ❤️

Who are you letting hold you back from fully expressing yourself?

Let’s take an honest look at how you’re holding back your expression because underneath you’re afraid of what someone else is gonna think.

I even found myself at 38 years old thinking twice before I post something because I’m afraid my family will see it.

I mean come on, why would you blame me?!? I spent 38 years unconsciously building up this nice girl appearance because I wanted to receive love. 

Well that’s a whole lotta BS. And in my opinion so completely and utterly selfish!!!!! By you dimming your bright ass awesome light... you’re actually preventing your huge heart’s kick ass message reaching millions of people!!!!!!

Fuck that.

So look within instead of just laughing at my videos or seeing how others are doing what I’m pointing to.

Comment below... WHO in your life are YOU still fearful of seeing you if you were to share ALL of you?!?! (Or are you too afraid to name them because they might see this?!?)

Is it your boss? Colleagues? Spiritual teacher? Ex partner? Current lover? Mommy? Daddy? Family members? Kids???

I bet you have a long ass list as to why you can’t share because of them. Fuck that list. Are you ready to burn it & start living a life for YOU???

If yes, what’s the first step you’re gonna take?

Share below. This is good shit here. 
Unless you just binge read this like everything else and never apply it.

The Choice is yours.

At least now you can’t hide and pretend you don’t know anymore.

I love you that much. ❤️


WTF is Presence?!?


I always thought I knew what presence was.

I mean, come on now, I had sat through fourteen Vipassana 10 day silent meditation retreats. I lived in a monastery in Nepal, and various ashrams in India. I’ve probably watched 1,000+ hours of YouTube videos from all the Spiritual Masters. I’ve spent $1,000’s of dollars on retreats, workshops, etc… and have studied under just about every spiritual teacher under the sun: Mooji, Ramana Maharishi, Sadhguru, Amma Bhagavan, Bentinho Massaro, Eckhardt Tolle, Byron Katie…

They were all pointing to the same damn thing. This thing called presence.

I thought I knew what they were talking about. “It’s so simple…” “Just Be.”

But I was fucking kidding myself.

After YEARS of being a spiritual teacher myself I had to admit that I had NO FUCKING IDEA what presence was, and that I was actually still in suffering myself. From there came this breaking down… a humility.

Only then was there this opening… to FINALLY get out of the mind’s fucking tight ass grip & mental containers.

Hina & I went live in our Awakening from the Dark Night group to speak about this missing link.

To support people who are ready to finally sense through their own DIRECT experience this silence… this presence.

Once you really rest in this space… it’s GAME OVER. <3

JOIN US: http://bit.ly/2P8cdl2

Home

“Home”

Being a wanderer… 

I was always searching for a Home. 

As I set out on my world travels, I didn’t even know that Home was what I was looking for.

I just knew that the normal life that America presented me with… go to college, get a job, fall in love, get married, have kids… just did NOT make sense to me.

I knew there had to be something more to life than that.

So when my college boyfriend proposed to me… I knew I had to follow this urge within me to pack my bags & leave the “normal” life behind.

For the next 18 years I traveled the world. 

I didn’t believe in “God” or have any concept that there could even be a Home within oneself.

Through life’s amazing ups & downs & unfoldings… it led me closer & closer… so perfectly to this Truth within.

Looking back I can see it was only believing in my own thoughts… these “demons”… the illusion of separation that brought this feeling of pain & suffering.

Yet it was the catalyst for me to surrender deeper into the loneliness that I was so afraid to feel.

Nothing external brought me joy.

Nothing external could soothe this longing that I had.

No mask that I wore, no matter how amazing my life was… nothing brought real lasting peace.

I can see how I was so impatient & wasn’t trusting the perfect unfolding & Divine orchestration of life.

Thinking that I knew a better way. 

Looking back… it was all so perfect. I can see now that I chose it all. Even the darkest of times.

There is finally a relaxing now… a surrendering into the unknown. The silence. 

Mmmmm… “Home.” 


“Just know you are not alone…”
Join us in our Awakening from the Dark Night Facebook group: http://bit.ly/2P8cdl2


I Wish I Knew How It Would Feel to Be Free

“I Wish I Knew How It Would Feel to Be Free” song by Nina Simone

Oh wait… I don’t need to wish.

I don’t need to try. 

I don’t need to seek.

I don’t need to be on this spiritual journey anymore.

Freedom is here now.

Freedom is here the moment I drop all the stories. 

Freedom is here the moment I drop all the thoughts.

Freedom is here the moment I drop the past, the future, and all of the interpretations of this present moment.

Freedom is here the moment I rest into the unchanging peaceful presence that has always been & always will be here.

Freedom is here the moment I rest into the Silence.

Are you ready for the game to be over?

If not… then at least enjoy the damn game. 😉


If you are ready to be done...

Join us in our Awakening from the Dark Night Facebook group: http://bit.ly/2P8cdl2

Fuck the Mission

callie brick wall.jpg

One of the most challenging parts of my Dark Night of the Soul was KNOWING deep down that I was here on this planet for something BIG. Like something SOOOOO FUCKING BIG. 

Yet there was one problem.

I wasn’t doing jackshit.

I found myself having ZERO energy and ZERO motivation to do anything.

What the fuck was wrong with me???

The more I tried to create something, the worse I felt.

I felt I was going around in loops.
I felt exhausted.
I felt so alone.

The more I saw other people on social media actually doing something with their lives, the worse I felt.

How come everyone else seems to be aligned to their soul’s mission & here I am crying in bed all day?

Some people were telling me to just snap out of it, choose my highest frequency, and follow my highest excitement.

I couldn’t fucking do that. FUCK YOU with your empowerment, I wanted to scream. Empowerment felt like way too much fucking effort.

Others were telling me: “Oh but Callie, you have changed so many people’s lives! You are so inspiring! You make so many people laugh with your videos. Your dances light people up. You have taught and changed so many people’s lives around the world!”

I felt none of this mattered.
I felt no one understood me.
I felt so broken & hopeless.

Why did I have to have this fucking KNOWING that I was here for an even BIGGER mission???
Why couldn’t I just be normal, and be happy with the lives I had already touched?

I tried to ignore this inner calling… 
I tried to ignore this mission...
I tried to have normal relationships, a normal life… 

Yet all this did was left me more & more empty inside.

Not sure if anyone out there can relate to any of this… but if yes… I fucking feel you. And it sucks.

Now being on the other side…. I can tell you there IS a way out of this.

Finding ZERO fulfillment in this external world was the BIGGEST fucking gift I have ever received.

It fucking hurt like hell & I wouldn’t want to wish that pain on anyone… but it forced me to turn even deeper within myself.

Feeling I was here for something big was the bait… a hook to bring me draw me into the Truth of my being.

Hitting rock bottom forced me to pave a NEW way. 

I had to face my worst fears ~ that I would never accomplish what I came here to do. That I would die being a nothing & a nobody.

I had to learn how to feel so deeply. Not from my head, but from the depths of my heart.

I learned how to empty out.

Empty out so much so that all that was left was this peaceful silence.

Soaking in the simplicity of the presence of my existence.

This deep knowing that just merely my existence was enough.

I didn’t have to create anything. 
I didn’t have to do anything. 

There was no mission I had to be on.

Resting in this deep silence. This deep peace.

All the answers were there. They’ve always been there. There were finally no more questions.

From this space there is a Faith my body will move wherever it needs to. 

Such freedom.

There is no mission.
There is no need.
There is no lack.

I have never felt so whole. So complete. So at peace.

It is possible for you as well.

❤ 

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What I'm learning from starting up Pole Dancing...

Started taking pole dancing here in the Netherlands this week. It’s all in Dutch. I can’t understand a word. I just watch, follow along & pretend I know what I’m doing. 🤣

My third class in, I accidentally walked into an intermediate series ~ where we had to choreograph a routine & perform it in just 45 minutes. 😳

Funny watching the thoughts that popped up. Fuck. I’ve only taken 2 classes and can only remember maybe 3 tricks tops. I can’t understand a word they are saying. My memory is shit. I hate choreographed routines. My legs are so bruised up cuz I’m a newbie. What am I doing here? When I dropped all the thoughts & just went for it, it actually was so fun. Doing tricks that normally take a month or two to learn. Realizing how so much more clicks & flows when I stop trying. Its amazing to watch what happens when the mind isn’t in the way!!!

Was also nice to drop the perfectionist in me who didn’t want to share this ~ who wanted to wait til I got my pole grooves on a bit more. Fuck that too. Share the progression. Share the bruises. Share whatever the hell you want to. It ain’t about others liking or not liking it.

I found a pole in the monastery I’m living at in Bussum. SCORE. I wonder if the nuns ever gave it a swing around.

#poledancing #letsdothis #justjump

Fuck the Food Nazi

It’s fun to not be so damn strict with myself. I used to be a hard core vegetarian... no gluten, no sugar, no meat, no dairy... then I realized I was such a tight ass.

It’s been such a relief to chill the F out. To empty out from all the bombardment of so many concepts & beliefs around food. To tune in & listen to what my body wants moment to moment. Sometimes I want a burger, sometimes I go vegan, other times I dry fast... for me it’s all about where I’m coming from as I eat.

And of course... sometimes I don’t listen... and normally my body tells me so very soon after 🤢😣💩

All I know is I fucking LOVED & savored every lick of this gelato while I was in Italy!!!! #YUM #fuckthefoodnazi #listen

gelato.jpg