Being a wanderer…
I was always searching for a Home.
As I set out on my world travels, I didn’t even know that Home was what I was looking for.
I just knew that the normal life that America presented me with… go to college, get a job, fall in love, get married, have kids… just did NOT make sense to me.
I knew there had to be something more to life than that.
So when my college boyfriend proposed to me… I knew I had to follow this urge within me to pack my bags & leave the “normal” life behind.
For the next 18 years I traveled the world.
I didn’t believe in “God” or have any concept that there could even be a Home within oneself.
Through life’s amazing ups & downs & unfoldings… it led me closer & closer… so perfectly to this Truth within.
Looking back I can see it was only believing in my own thoughts… these “demons”… the illusion of separation that brought this feeling of pain & suffering.
Yet it was the catalyst for me to surrender deeper into the loneliness that I was so afraid to feel.
Nothing external brought me joy.
Nothing external could soothe this longing that I had.
No mask that I wore, no matter how amazing my life was… nothing brought real lasting peace.
I can see how I was so impatient & wasn’t trusting the perfect unfolding & Divine orchestration of life.
Thinking that I knew a better way.
Looking back… it was all so perfect. I can see now that I chose it all. Even the darkest of times.
There is finally a relaxing now… a surrendering into the unknown. The silence.
“Just know you are not alone…”
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